If you read my last post, you know that I have been dealing with mental health issues, and that in the weekend before I published that post I’ve hit a point where I was unleashing all my negativity in my family.
Fortunately, I had some time to myself on Sunday and I could reflect on what was going on and on the consequences of keeping up with this behavior for much longer.
Sometimes it’s not easy to reflect with clarity when we find ourselves in situations like this, especially if we’re not given the time (by ourselves or others) to stop and see what is going on. I knew, by my husband and kids behavior, that I need to give that time to myself.
Once I was alone, and was able to calm myself, I started to think on why I was acting like they were my enemies. Needless to say, I knew they were not the ones to blame, but even though I knew it I could not stop feeling angry.
When this realization came was when I decided to use the 10/10/10 rule.
What is the 10/10/10 rule?
The 10/10/10 rule is a way to evaluate the impact of your decisions.
This rule works for difficult decisions/choices we need to make and even to help evaluate the impact, in ourselves and others, of keeping up with a certain behavior.
How does the 10/10/10 rule work?
To put this rule in practice you first evaluate the impact your decision/choice/behavior will have in 10 minutes. How will you feel about your choice in ten minutes? How will others feel about your choice in 10 minutes and how it will affect you (how will you feel)?
After having done this for 10 minutes you do the same considering 10 months and 10 years.
When I applied the 10/10/10 rule to my situation, I came to the obvious realization that if I was not changing my behavior, I would end driving my family away from me.
My family. My husband and my two kids. The people I love the most in the whole world, who are there for me whenever I need their support.
The people from, whose smiles and love, I draw energy when I am most tired.
Suddenly my heart was swollen with love.
I nurtured myself with this love (once more).
When I was finally with them again, I was a new person.
I needed to make addends to them, especially to my husband, whom I had hurt the most. But I did it gladly.
They are not my enemies, they are my allies and our allies we need to treat with respect.
When our allies are our loved ones, we treat them with respect, but above all, we treat them with the love they deserve.
If you find yourself in a situation where you don’t know what to do or where you feel that your behavior is affecting your life and the life of those around you, try to use the 10/10/10 rule to see how you’ll feel about it within 10 minutes, 10 months and 10 years.
Have a nice week
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